I had been on my back at the bottom of darkness staring up towards the light for years, many of which, I had no idea. This was just how life was, dull and dark. After a while, I realized where I was, but didn’t want to face it.
Then, one day, I was pushed out of my safe space and forced to face all the shit… it didn’t go that well, but when does trudging through all the shit go well? Facing a lifetime of manure sucked me down further still.
Then one day I just stood up and decided to walk my ass into the light no matter how hard it was. Some people helped me see my strengths along the way. Others held my hand when I needed it, even if it was via texts and late night phone calls.
One person would be the one who had walked in and pushed me, but who would then become part of the darkness. Another thing I would have to trudge though, but someone I will always consider wonderful, one I’ll always be grateful for. Regardless.
With the help of Welbutrin, Intuniv, HEAPS of intense therapy, and sheer will, today I’m better. While darkness creeps just off the periphery, making me be every watchful of every step I take, so as not to fall back in, I’m happy, I’m strong, and there’s less and less of that darkness every day.
This project is me finding my art again. Me finding MY OWN FUCKING path to art, to writing, to photography. There is no wrong answer. I will take up space. This project is me finding me again… throwing away the useless doubt and imposter syndrome that clutters my voice and muddles the telling of my truth.
